20 Things You Learn from 2012 – The Movie

18 Nov
2009
1. You can drive through a falling building without a scratch.
12. Giant tsunamis can rise higher than the Himalayas.
13. Russians are very funny.
14. When the world is going to end and there are “ships” designed to save people from the event, you can’t get on one if you don’t have 1 billion euros, no matter how awesome you are.
15. During the end of the world, all men of God would rather die than get on an ark.
16. Bad guys sometimes go away unpunished.
17. You waste much of $260 million dollars just to destroy LA, Las Vegas, Rio de Janeiro, Washington DC, and Rome when there are more than a dozen more cities worth destroying as well (Paris for example).
18. A Waterworld scenario is how the world will end.
19. Barrack Obama is older than what he appears.
20. When the world is going to end, the guy who is the overall supervisor of a “save humanity” project will act like as though he was proclaimed “emperor of mankind”…
21. If someone doesn’t want you to save you, better find that person’s grandmother to teach him about a thing or two.
22. The South Pole will end up in Wisconsin.
23. Made in China ships are the only way to save mankind.
24. When a volcano erupts, some guy with a beard will watch the eruption at a very close range and won’t give a damn about his safety.
25. Africa won’t be affected by an end of days scenario.
26. An earthquake can occur near Washington D.C.
Arnold is still governor in 2012 even though his second and last term ends in 2011
The 2010 London Olympics will be held in December…!
if youre a stepdad watch your back or real dad will drown you and step back in
The Metal doors of the ship, built with billions and billions of dollars can get jammed easily by a handy tool
John Cusack can hold his breath for a long ass time
The Russian President´s English was sufficient for what Danny Glover had to say in the 2010 meeting
Even after all communication on earth has ceased, a guy in india can still call you on your cell phone!
The chinese will take time out of building ships to install cameras all over the place inside said ships. Cameras that give you great closeups.
If you want to survive in 2012, take a couple of flight lessons
When collecting animals for the ark, do not collect cows, sheep or pigs (animals that provide humans with food and clothing) rather save the giraffe and the rhino, and then return them to Africa, a part of the world that wasn’t flooded anyways!
You should always do a 10 minutes debate on “opening the door” when it’s 15 minutes before impact!
Apparently a 1 billoin euro ticket aboard the biggest ship ever built allows you the same boarding procedure as a budget airline

Write a book, even if it sucks. Because when the world ends, you may be lucky enough to have a copy of it saved by one of the survivors and be forever immortalized

So I watched the movie…and honestly…quite liked it! Cmon…what were you guys expecting? Oscar Movie of the Year! it was meant to be this crappy…but with great visual appeal. And it delivered on it…!

However, as is with every movie, no matter how crappy…there are always learnings (and hidden philosophies!).

Here is my book on…

20 Things You Learn from 2012 – The Movie

  1. With a wave as high as Mt. Everest some 200 feet away from you…cellphone signals are still strong enough to call your friend in the US and tell him you are dying!
  2. Blacks will eventually save the world!
  3. It will friggin take much more than a billion people in size, for India to have one of its citizen up on that ship
  4. After the world ends…all that will remain will be “Made in China”
  5. If you wish to save your ass from the world’s end…get some flying lessons! And no…no need to get a friggin license…a flight or two will suffice!
  6. One day you will be able to fly only 200 miles to reach US, cause the earth would have moved alongwith you!
  7. Africa is the only continent that will not drown. So yeah…they could die of AIDS or Malaria…but flood…not happening!
  8. The 2010 London Summer Olympics will be held in December…!
  9. If you are a stepdad…you will eventually die and the original father will take over!
  10. John Cusack is the world record holder for the longest duration underwater without breathing!
  11. The Russian President´s English is sufficient incase you want to tell him that he is going to die…in English
  12. The chinese build the worst things on this earth, but will make sure that there are cameras installed all across the ship to cover the remotest of insignificant corners!
  13. But hey…after all the billions spent…the gates can still get jammed by a tool!
  14. Animals will be saved more for zoo value (Rhino, Giraffe) rather than real value. So yes…no cows, pigs, sheep on the ship please!
  15. There will always be a senti 10 minute speech on opening the gates, when they are 11 minutes left for impact!
  16. Russians will always have a sense of humor, when when they are dying!
  17. Arabs will speak good english but will insist all paperwork and documents to be in Arabic! And yes…they love their family as much as Indians do…so they will pay for all.
  18. Your hot mistress will always have an affair with your hot driver!
  19. No matter how much you have paid for the ticket, the boarding will remind you of Air Deccan. However, there might actually be some people who will never make it to the ship, unlike Air Deccan (almost!)
  20. And oh! When you know 3 years back that the world will be flooded…always make a ship..! Not a submarine…a ship!

Please add your own!!

29 Responses to 20 Things You Learn from 2012 – The Movie

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Kenrock2

November 19th, 2009 at 11:40 am

You need a green card pass to enter China

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Kenrock2

November 19th, 2009 at 11:41 am

Dead or alive, You need to get “green card” pass to enter China…

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Ankur Warikoo

November 19th, 2009 at 11:43 am

But if you have a friend who works at the ship…then even a friggin dog can enter..! :)

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Kenrock2

November 19th, 2009 at 11:53 am

Rhino, Elephant and Giraffes are the only menu at the kitchen… bwhahaha

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Ankur Warikoo

November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am

Oh maybe that explains why they didnt allow any Indians (mostly Vegetarians) onboard the ship! haha

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Kenrock2

November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am

Whether it is restricted area, the army will still take you to their head quarters..

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Dhairya

November 22nd, 2009 at 10:51 pm

In 2012, American president would be almost immortal (he was the only one who survived the ash cloud) and would make all the decisions untill he dies – for the entire world!

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ankur

November 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 am

@Dhairya: He would always be the real “Superman”…isnt it…!

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[Blocked by CFC] loopmob

December 12th, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Ive been researching this and I’ll have to agree

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r4i software

December 14th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Yes, I walked out on this movie, 20 minutes before the ending. I’ve seen lots of films that were crapper, but this one was so damn aggravating. And unfortunately I went to see it by myself, so I couldn’t relieve the tension by turning to a friend to say ‘I HATE this film and want these characters TO DIE’.

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Ankur

December 14th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Hahaha…! @r4i Software! I love the way you put it…”relieve the tension”..! :)

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TREY

December 25th, 2009 at 12:34 pm

2012 IS REAL GLOBOOLWARMING IS A COVER UP,
THE SUN HEAT WAVES IN THE SOLER SYTUM IS HEATING UP THE CORE OF EARTH THATS WHY ICE CAPS AND OTHER THINGS IN SOTH,NOTHPOLE IS METING ALSO THE SADALIGHT IS MESING up from SOLER HEAT THAT COMES FROM THE SUN be paperd

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cooler

December 27th, 2009 at 11:41 am

what did the mosa lisa or the guy being killed in the bottom of the bridge afterwards had to do anything with the movie this wasn’t the davinci code so theres no point in bringing it up?

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[Blocked by CFC] Josephina Burn

January 18th, 2010 at 5:23 pm

And yet another apocalyptic movie, i am really wondering where this is heading. Oh, awsome blog btw ;)

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G!

February 22nd, 2010 at 2:46 am

11. They are Serbian language, so this is Serbian president.
Zivela Srbija :)

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richard

March 1st, 2010 at 5:48 am

you forgot this one- Whenever someone near you says something like “everything is fine” or “we are no longer in danger” RUN cause ironickly something bad will happen!

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2real

March 8th, 2010 at 1:53 am

Ankur Warikoo has no life… IT’S A MOVIE you dumb ass. I can’t believe you really sat here, wasted your time and wrote all this stuff about it. lol you seem like a racist who has nothing better to do. Too funny.

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Dusica Grabovic

March 10th, 2010 at 11:15 am

Bravo! Samo tako!

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julianrandom

March 16th, 2010 at 4:46 am

Have a Russian guy with a huge plane full of cars take you to these ships! lmao!

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ankur

March 16th, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Totally…this will never fail! :)

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heehe

March 16th, 2010 at 9:36 pm

haha Awesome list man

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Ankur Warikoo

March 17th, 2010 at 7:44 am

Thanks a lot! :)

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most

April 19th, 2010 at 3:13 am

hmmmm…obvious, generic and racist. u suck. the end.

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walid

May 5th, 2010 at 9:01 pm

The glasses of the submarines are so strong that they don’t break even if a part of mountain falls on it !!!

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bob

May 19th, 2011 at 7:08 am

1)That all the rich people who paid to be on the ships will have to learn to do things on their own cause all us common folk are dead.

2) That when they realize that they could have housed 10 folks per room, they are gonna be real sad when sars wipes out 1/2 the population, then regualr infections wipe out the rest.
in other words the upper crust die as well , it will just take them longer, and then 1000’s of years later the next species will find the remains and wonder what it used to be…

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Wetall

July 10th, 2011 at 9:10 am

1. The ship to save you is so well built that if you don’t shut the door you can’t start the engine.
2. When all infrastructure is being wiped out the way to power the ship is still oil and not something renewable or longer lasting, like nuclear.

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Arshyan

September 14th, 2011 at 5:35 am

My uncle worked in NASA…Some thing will happen worst…believe me…:D

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Ashish

September 29th, 2014 at 6:27 am

OMG. This is so funny man.

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Randy

May 17th, 2015 at 11:58 am

Everest is almost 30,000 ft in altitude. The wave was only around 3,000 ft. It would have never got that high into the Himilayas.

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