6 Nov
2006

so…kerela was fun. i wasnt raped…and no guy touched me as well. no wait…i take tht back…i mean…i went for a massage on thr last day…

the entire team had left on sunday and we dubai sheikhs were left to ourselves…given the timing of our flight. so i pretty much slept through the day…didnt hv lunch…watched the finals…fought a fire back in office…and then decided to go for a massage…

the weirdest hour of my life…

ok…so i was ready to be almost naked…infront of a guy whom i hadnt met…ever..! big shit..i thought to myself. if gandhi could almost do it…infront of the entire world…heck..am just an overweight normal guy..! and then…the fact that the massage place would provide disposable underwear…did provide for some relief.

so i enter this room…and this dude…i will call him X…opens the almirah..and reaches out for a small cigar like thing. i guess its the underwear…and as he takes the wrapper off and asks me to wear it..while he waits outside…several thoughts cross my mind…till it hits me…

WAIT A MINUTEEEEE…!!! AT WHAT POINT OF TIME WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR MEANS TRANSPARENT UNDERWEAR…!!!????

it was at this precise moment…when i am in my original undies…holding the ‘disposable’ undies…tht i realize where it all came from…the phrase…”point of no return”

ok..so calm down…all’s good…believe in your sexuality…hold on…dont sweat…hold on…calm down…just close your eyes and imagine its some machine operating on you…!

the music is chosen…and the oil is heated. they start with the head and its quite a fascinating feeling when the 1st drop touches your scalp. i am a sucker for head massages…once gave a tip of 50 (on a rate list of 30) to a guy whom i cud hv married if he was a girl…simply cause of the head massage he gave me..!

the next 15 odd mins are soothing. the massage is flowing smoothly…the occasional ‘touching’ is conveniently ignored…and before i realize i am fast asleep.

“sir sir sir…r u ok sir…r u ok sir”…shaking me rigourously. i wake up with a jerk…open my eyes…and find X’s face in friggin nanometer smooching distance.

holy shit..!!

i mean dude….am i the first person to hv fallen asleep during a RELAXATION massage…???? cmon for god sake…

for any current or to-be masseur…here is a healthy tip…

imagine a sage…seeking nirvana. and some dude has told him…tapasya for 22 yrs…and u shall hv it. so he begins…and the present time is 21 yrs…11 months…23 hrs…and 45 mins. i mean…friggin 15 min away frm nirvana. now what X did was equivalent to shaking the sage out of his meditation and asking him the directions to the river where the local beautiies bathe..!!

DONT EVER DO IT..!! someone’s gonna get hurt real bad…!

it was never the same after tht. the massage ended and i didnt quite enjoy it the way i expected myself to…but heck..atleast i got one in kerela..!!

life’s ‘gay’..!!

~a

PS: as a sidenote…AD kicked ass today at the DB interview. and i expected him to. it was an awesome feeling when he told me abt it…though i cudnt resist going back in time…exactly a yr back. to this day…i dont know what to make out of that day…but i do remember telling PG this…a week after my interviews…”zindagi mein kuch bhi…kabhi itni aasaani se nahi mila”….! and yeah…sach mein nahi mila!

proud of u AD…jst hang in there now…! its ur day today…!

8 Responses to

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Anonymous

November 7th, 2006 at 9:35 pm

Hi Ankur,
Notwithstanding the gay aspect, was the massage good? I have been dreaming of getting a kerela massage for a long time. Also, how much does it cost?
-thanks
your blog reader

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ankur

November 7th, 2006 at 11:14 pm

Anon:
Oh..forget the gay bit..i was just taking it a bit too far.
The massage was ok, if you ask me. and plus, since we were staying at a luxury hotel..the cost (1000 bucks) didnt justify it. i am sure it mst be much better outside..cause every other shop seemed to be a massage parlour there..!

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Anonymous

November 8th, 2006 at 4:34 am

hey buddy,

whass happenin. seen your blog after a long time…it was wickeddd as usual.

man i still remember that DB interview day…:-) also the night b4, where we literally slogged for our master plan till 11.59 pm. wow that was awesome….and the CNBC thing…hahah…how we can sit back and joke abt all this now :-)

who would have thght….

– ashish

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ankur

November 8th, 2006 at 12:21 pm

Pokhyyyyyy meri jaan…!!

I know dude…those were the days. absolutel bliss. CNBC was fun…remember the walking sequence..?? lol..!!

miss those times a lot..!

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Arun Dhar

November 8th, 2006 at 12:41 pm

Thank you sir :-)

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ankur

November 8th, 2006 at 12:50 pm

AD:
Its a job well done dude…dont thank me..! :)

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Madhvi

November 9th, 2006 at 10:11 pm

Ya I was witnessing from a distance how much pressure these guys were going through on the day of the DB interview…And getting through it is really great…

The massage thing….Is it really not worth it? People always advise me to go for one….Ur blog made me think twice…..

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ankur

November 10th, 2006 at 12:17 am

Madhvi:
yes…i agree…the pressure sure is a lot. so if you do manage to handle tht effectively…the end result is pretty sweet.

as for the massage…dont take me seriously. it is definitely an experience. you shud try it once..

~a

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