crap…where did the month go….

8 Jun
2007

no seriously…where did it jst go.

shit loads has happened in the last month…and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it…darn…forget it…how am i kiddin… i jst didnt feel like writing…thts it….! :)

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Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month…work was awesome…and painful…long hrs…no social life…weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better….and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said…”its like pregnancy…lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end” (courtesy PM)

but tht was then. things changed last week….when we met the client…and he was like…superb…sold…very well done…why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before…

and we were like…WTF

now dont get me wrong…these vision-mission stuff are good…companies hv survived on them…and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut…! but after 6 weeks of high rigor…and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous…when one asks you to start thinking of vision…it sucks…

or in other words…the phase of ‘intellectual masturbation’…begins…

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was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough…the paper had conducted a survey…with some startling results…

witness this…

Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water

a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me…and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good…! however…45% said no…! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????

i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones…u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!

there is more…

Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water

55% yes…45% no…and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION…!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit…and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world’s too….and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills…go on a violent bandh….kill some people…and continue to bloody brush under running water..

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but then the government is not the best either…

a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough…the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..

why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts…who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world…where guys and girls are never together…15th feb comes right after the 13th…there is no internet and thus no hat communities…and oh…a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning…so as to keep them under control. now that would work..

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and hey you guys…tell me something…whenever you apply for a competitie examination…do you call yourself ‘general’ category…? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general…! if not…i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank…and burn your neighbour’s cycle. control dude control…the bus will be next…but jst practise before…!

everyone is fighting for a community status dude…i think we should too..!
what…what…national damage…? social inconvenience..? death…? dude…what are you…a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!

and hey…if any news channels attempt to cover your violence…dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera…

there…now u deserve the general status…jai hind..!

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strange thing happened today…was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone…when the traffic cop stopped me. now…i admit…my car is a traffic cop’s dream come true. i always talk on the phone…(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree…but hey…am still a nice guy!)…hv dark tints…and play decently loud music.

and plus…i am an honest tax-paying citizen

so this guys stops me…and starts off…2K for cellphone…2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC…plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days….

whooaaa….hold on mate…! so first…show me the fine sheet…tht states the amt…

he didnt hv tht…

ok…fine…i will trust u on the amt…and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC

no sir…cant do…u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.

give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.

dont hv…cant share…

show me ur ID card

haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006…

which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah…

what do u mean moolah…u think we are here to take a bribes something…

oh u r not…great…so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car…

i wont…

fine…let me take you to the traffic headquarters there…we will discuss the matters there…

ok ok..leaving…but get these tints off in 2 days…


Conclusion:

1. Most of these guys…i was later told by a frnd…do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID…always ask for the challan…and plz use bribe as the last resort…not the preferred one..

2. I did commit a mistake…and i ought to have paid. but i didnt…! and i cudnt care less…because of the way he conducted himself…! dont if i am wrong here…comments invited…

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went to naukuchiatal for the weekend…fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage…and had a much needed break.

here are some snaps…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/

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will be back soon…surely within a month…

~a

4 Responses to crap…where did the month go….

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Ford Prefect

June 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am

Awesome … I personally take great pride in not giving the bloody thullas anything…. Kudos … next time take them on a high speed chase … I have been involved in one on my bike … the trick is to get inside an educational institution campus … The police cant get there without orders !!!!

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ankur

June 11th, 2007 at 12:59 pm

FP:
awesome…now that’s a piece of information i would hv paid shit loads to get..! :)

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ela1ne1

June 12th, 2007 at 2:15 pm

arre wah… private cottage and all.. that too one with a name.. and call me call me i have something to tell you (but u notice i will not call you;))

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ankur

June 12th, 2007 at 3:16 pm

Elaine:
Yeah…a private cottage with a name..thts my style..! :)

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