dubai survival kit…

28 Sep

so…SA…or AS…if you are readin this…pardon me…cause i really didnt have anything else to write…

its been 12 months for the ATK team here at Dubai…and we realized that its been quite a learning experience. a new country shall always come with its share of typicalities…and adjusting to those can be quite a task.

here is our version of the

Dubai Survival Kit

  1. Emirates will serve you good food. Air India will serve you food. Emirates has some really nice entertainment. Air India doesn’t believe in the concept. Emirates will fly on time. Air India will love you so much it just wouldn’t want you to leave the craft. Ever. FLY EMIRATES
  2. You arrive at the airport and the lady immigration officer is quite pretty. She has applied make up and you can actually see her face. And she even smiles at you. That doesn’t mean you can stare at her.
  3. When flying back to Dubai from India, you have to reconfirm your flights. Ofcourse the fact that you paid the entire amount for the flight and also got a confirmed seat doesn’t mean that you are interested in flying…does it?
  4. When in a team of more than 4, appoint someone who decides where to eat out every day. Change the person every week…to minimize the physical damage from other team members.
  5. Do check out the desert safari. The oasis comes in form of belly dancers at the end of it all.
  6. You are staying at the Crowne Plaza. Just by yourself. And at 2 in the morning you hear a knock. Do(n’t) open!
  7. Dubai is full of olives. And they look a lot like black grapes. They are not.
  8. Pepperoni is beef. Just because you have it everyday and like it a lot, doesn’t make it pork!
  9. Some people think that seafood is vegetarian. Most of these people stay in Dubai
  10. If your office is far from the main city, remember the route. You shall have to explain it EVERYDAY to the food delivery guy
  11. Don’t get overwhelmed by the grandiose nature of high-end Lebanese restaurants. Their attitude towards food is the same as that of Paris Hilton’s towards money. Waste it.
  12. For dinner there are two extremes. The AED20/person Sukh Sagar and the AED 200/person Burj. One will make you burp like you have never burped before and one will leave you hunting for that chips pack at midnight. Which one…is your guess.
  13. There are some things in Dubai that money cant buy. For instance an airconditioner when you are out at 12.30pm in august looking for an ATM.
  14. Hospitalization in Dubai is very expensive. Emergency treatment is free though. However, at a speed limit of 120km/hr, ‘emergency’ acquires a whole new meaning. Get yourself a medical cover.
  15. Ofcourse you love your wife/husband. And the worlds knows that. They don’t need evidence…definitely not in public.
  16. It’s a beautiful country and you would want to click incessantly. Control that emotion when attempting to click women in the national dress.

life’s good…


9 Responses to dubai survival kit…


Ford Prefect

October 3rd, 2006 at 11:47 am

Dude ,… What happened after you opened the door ???


Arun Dhar

October 3rd, 2006 at 3:08 pm

Seafood is sanctimonious, pepperoni is a corruption, Sukh Sagar is very far from any Sagar, there will be very few “high-end” things that are lebanese if Israel keeps up, you take AED10 with you when you open that door at 2am, and those darn grapes, yikes olives, taste good!

So A, who did you see when you opened that door? (yes, assumption made)



October 3rd, 2006 at 3:13 pm

Legend has it that someone ‘lost it’ that night..!!

Noww thats a much better question. Lets start with the sex first…and ‘yes’..i meant the gender.



October 4th, 2006 at 12:35 am

warikoo, you’re such an exaggerator, firstly you only get olives in levo restaurants, and they’re FREE so stop cribbing. and if you only spent 200 at the burj, then you must have had one felafel sandwich. hows your diet going btw?

And mathur wants to know who was at ur door at 2. i’d rather know what u were doing in a room at crowne plaza at 2 in the morning, considering u live at the shangri la. hmmm. is that why you’re evasive nowadays?



October 4th, 2006 at 12:49 am

Number one…what has cost got to do with olives..!!
And how many times have u been to the burj. why dont i take you to a 200 aed dinner…!

and damn…the secret is out…so cant hide it anymore. i wasnt in the room…the knock was mine…!

and dude..whats with ur home phone..?? no one bothers to pick up?


yashovardhan gupta

October 5th, 2006 at 5:52 pm

thanks man, it feels nice to be appreciatted by the god of paper presentation competitions.

btw: your paper is awesome, i was thinking of doing an idea arbitrage to evaluate leaders and then consequently classify them into various categories and define parameters for “iconic” leaders. what say? may I?



October 5th, 2006 at 5:56 pm

what what what what what…???

go ahead dude…do whatever u feel like..! if u do use our paper…jst give a reference…thats it..! :)



October 6th, 2006 at 12:30 am

oh shaddup.. don’t try ur silly reasoning thing. you’re just a cribbo. and a waster of money(read ur new post) and thank god you’ve changed, imagine u turning into a spendthrift after all the lectures we’ve had to listen from you.

Please take me out for dinner. 200 and not less. but i must go on a diet. dyu have holidays for diwali?

I’m very excited about the timetable btw. and your phone is off. and turns out if i go tomorrow to bombay i can only go by the 1.15 flight and thats too early for me. need to get stuff done. anyways, aditi’s already given me gaalis, so i dont think it should come as a surprise.

I dunno why my comments turn into these long stories. maybe i should start writing you mails. i’ll just leave this one be now. g’nite.



October 6th, 2006 at 12:13 pm

my my my…such a jealous bee…i swear..!! and dude..if i turn into a spendthrift..the country GDP will shoot up…!!

And sure…the dinner is done. btw…i hv some kickass 10 days leave for diwali…wuhuuuuu..!!

so whats ur scene now..?? when r u leavin. will call Ms Bell today..and talk to u…

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